i know its my fault. i shouldnt have said those things. but i didnt break my promise right? hais. today just doesnt feel the same as yesterday. since we got together, this always happens. im so sick and tired of it. almost every week, we always have a cold war, a period of sadness or whatever. i just hate all this things so much. if we hadn't got together, im sure life would be better for us.

now, im thinking, whether we should have gotten together in the first place. if we didnt, we wouldnt have so many problems. we seldom meet, seldom go out. this relationship feels so fake. i know i;ve not been doing much for you.. but i want to start doing from today.

you dont like me going out with a girl, yet you go out with a boy and have so much fun. you dont like cold wars, but u are the one who always initiate it. you dont like me to break promises and i;ve tried my best not to. but you're still not happy. should we just end this? cause this shoudnt continue. maybe you'll be happier with someone else who doesnt make you sad. if you aren't happy, let me go by all means..

Labels: ,

it's good u realised
i'll love u with all my heart <3


yesterday school ended 1pm. quite early ah, then i had no plans also. so since meiling was going to ecp to so called "drown herself" -.- , i decided to tag along also luh. went home, changed, then met her at parkway macs. wow, she's quite tall for her age. 1.6m at 13 yrs old. wth. zzz.

ok then went to the underpass at ntuc there. i dont understand why she still wanna go ecp cycle when it is drizzling? haha. weird girl. lol. ok so went to eat macs first. she ate mcspicy. and she didnt drink any drinks. wonder how she tahan the spiciness. oh forgot, she's half thai. thai can tahan spicy food well.

ok so went to rent bike and almost no one was cycling la walao. we so extra. zzz. i din know she was damn talkative la. she was supposed to be sad leh, cos of her bf's problems. and the next day got exam then somemore still so relax. can go ecp cycle. wth. so cycled till changi safra there then u turned. saw quite lot of ppl fishing. haha. discovered quite a lot of new spots.

she was like telling me so many tings la. my brain cant absorb all of em. zzz. omg then on the way back, got one woman roller bladin. she fell down and she went "AIYO!" omg lols wtf, damn funny siah. she lost her balance and then cant stop. she held on to a cone but too bad the cone not stuck to the ground. so she hugged the cone and fell. ): sad. lol.

ok so walk to bus stop then went home. nowadays dunno why also, always sad sad at night. then i online alr, talked to darling. and i felt damn COLD. not temperature that kinda cold. another type. im sure u know. then after that no more talking le. dont know why. i thought she was angry or sad with me AGAIN. but turns out she wasnt. but nvm.

ok, so now, about today, school was boring. had the stupid lesson about communication skills again. learn about english. omg and so many assignments are coming up. stress ah. after school went fishing with sam at BEDOK RESERVOIR. yes i know it sounds stupid, but there is actually fish in there. but we caught none. we reached there and started fishing at some ILLEGAL SPOT. kena caught by rangers. but we managed to escape la. tried to reason with the frigging noobs.

i saw jesus today. some boy wearing sandals and holding a stick and using it as a walking aid. omg. teenager jesus! lol. so after that went home, played soccer for a while then blog. tmr got soccer again. 7.30am. lucky got alan to follow me (:

i know u dont like me going out with certain girls. i know you love me. well, you think i like you to go out with those beng friends of yours? or even talk about them? bengs just piss me off. and u still do it.

Labels: ,

it's good u realised
i'll love u with all my heart <3


nothing much to say today. woke up, found out that my mum and younger brother , louis, were at home. turns out that my mum and brother were sick. they went doctor and just came back. so i prepared for today's school and left the house.

today was damn sian. the first lesson was communication skills. sian. study about english. i hate language subjects. somemore i dont understand a lot of things. then next lesson was intro to hosp and tourism lecture. i didnt print out the notes beforehand. so go thr do nothing. stone, sms. dots hor. the lecture ended 35 minutes earlier. yay (:

then i received a message from darling. very sad. ): at that time i also dont know what happen to her. why is she crying.? i wanna know. but sadly, she doesnt wanna tell. or maybe she just feels uncomfortable to confide in me. i dont know, seriously. when i reached home, she was still sleeping. zzz.

so i went to play soccer with xd at the basketball court. very sian. nowadays also raining everyday. no soccer, no fishing. ): but no darling is the worst thing that can ever happen. ))): then she told me about her problem, FINALLY. turns out to be friends and studies. also can see that from her blog. dont worry la, it'll be alright. dont think too much okays?

these few nights, i dont know why. but i've been thinking about ME,YOU,AND US. i've realised there's a lot to be improved on if we wanna make this last. ): im not as good as you expected me to be. and i know it myself. i wanna be the best bf you ever had but. hais. and we meet very seldom. which is a bad point also. ):

i also always tend to be sad only at night. dont know why. but usually, by the next morning, all the sadness will leave temporarily. but it will still come back at night to haunt me. i really wanna be there for you, share your sadness with you, console you in times when you're feeling down but we have our own difficulties. we have practically no time for each other. we're busy with our own stuffs. this cant go on you know. its saddening to know that it's happening to us.

i have no more time to fetch you from school, as my school usually ends late and i really regret not spending more time with you during my holidays. i've not done enough to deserve your love and i know that i have to do more, in order to sustain our relationship. im a introvert by nature and nothing can change the fact. im cowardly, shy and a noob in love. im born like that. but im a coward who is willing to try and i hope you will have the patience to wait for me.

speaking about marriage, i really do hope it happens to us both. cos it seems that our love is deep. and not those kinda puppy love; i hope. for now, i just hope we'll last and i'll give you my 100% too. GF>FRIENDS (:


love you,

Labels: ,

it's good u realised
i'll love u with all my heart <3


FRIDAY :

i wanna say sorry to her. i didnt know that she would be so sad over something that i meant as a joke. i bluffed her that i was going to stay in the school's hostel but i forgot to say it was a joke. and she was damn sad la, but i didnt know why. -.- so sorry darling. ): and i wont blog about girls anymore. (:

and i missed out on the chance to join the tutoring cca lor. on the last day of the cca recruitment they say the close at 5pm so i think, after school at 4pm then go sign up for that cca. its about going to schools and teaching primary sch kids, giving them tuition etc. 3 hrs every saturday. then at 3.40pm my friend told me the stall close le. i was like WTH! cheat my feelings! walao... i really wanted to join it.. somemore got my friends shirley and huimin inside.. sam also supposed to join with me.. sobx sobx. T_T

SATURDAY :

today was damn fun. darling asked me out. she finlly has time!! after.. erm.. 28 days without seeing her. -.- so i met her at parkway with her tuition friend rahman. then we sent him off at the hwker then me and her went to the library. nowadays the library also so full, so bo pian, sit on one small sofa chair and she did her work. she kept complaining it was cold, but i dont think so lor.. zzz. after about 2 hours, she finished. then she wanna go play swing opposite the library.

then reached there, got one person playing swing le, so she go play by herself. so i sat at the slide there listening to music. then joelle told me that yew heng was sian-ed at home, so she ask me whether wanna ask him come over, thn i say anything lor. so while waiting for yew heng, joelle played the swing and chatted with him on the phone, then i sadsad de sit one corner stone. lols.

so after that we got tired of playing then sat on a bench. saw 2 dogs walking by, one of them was limping. sad siah. ): so joelle said she was a lil hungry so went to pp to buy a wafer or waffleor whatever. then walked to inside pp and walk walk and sat down at the staircase while waiting for yewheng to arrive in his cab. -.- we talked quite a lot till he arrived. then he forced us go ecp ride bike. i was like wth, dont want la. but it turned out quite fun. thanks yewheng (:

so we walked to ecp then after we crossed the underpassed, the path was all flooded. they were called 'ponds' by yewheng. zzz. so we walked across the grass but it was also mostly wet, then joelle scared she step on mud. -.- but she really did la. then she stood there and just scream : aahhhhh! walao omg. i was like, DIAO. yewheng also very paiseh, quickly run away from her. -.- then i just guide her onto the walking path. so went to macdonalds to wash leg, then to rent a bike.

i just knew what yewheng was up to. he go choose the 2 seater bike for me and her. walao. paiseh can. dont want la, so ended up everyone 1 bike each. (: so we started cycling quite slowly, cos she scared to cycle fast. cycle cycle cycle, take pics take pics take pics... -.- thats all she knows.. then on the way we stopped for a drink. and yew heng went back to macs to meet his friends. he said he'll meet us later.

so we cycled further on and it was quite dark already. then we stopped near an underpass and waited for yewheng there. then we heard voices in the underpass. damn scary eh. so we go down see. turns out is a mother and her 2 kids. zzz. then the mother so poor thing, carry bike up the stairs. so i helped her carry her son's bike up. she thanked me. (: so we waited for yewheng until damn long la. his 2 minutes is like, half an hour lor. then at night the lampposts all got a lot of flies below it. so irritating. they keep attacking me and darling. zzz.

so he finally came then we cycled till CHANGI SAFRA. on the way there, yewheng damn bad eh, he asked me to pangseh Joelle, since she was in front. but i dont want la. later she confirm scared one. lols. then we had to make a u turn as we had to reutrn the bikes soon but we are still damn far. and that yew heng always like to go far far in front then hide one corner, waiting for us to go in front then he suddenly sneak up on us from behind. zz.

then on the way, yew heng made one new friend called melvin. he was joelle's school OM de nephew. so coincicental ah. -.- then while we were riding back. JOELLE SUDDENLY BRAKED AGAIN. then the melvin guy banged into her, and he landed on the floor. like motionless for a while, then he suddenly said " SORRY ". i was like WTH? so funny and scary la. before this, i also almost banged into her. yew heng also. cos she suddenly braked. lucky she only got a cut and nothing else. but i really pity the guy. zzz. she is damn unpredictable and that makes her scary. so we went to return the bikes. when we go off the bikes, waa damn shiok. yewheng said he feel like he's fflying. lols. everywhere also numb.

then walking to macs that time. Joelle kena cramp in her calf. waa she stand there and AHHHH again. she said wanna call her ahma for help. -.- but her ahma's not around anymore ): noone to help her. so i helped her to macs then wash leg then go buy food. sian lor, yewheng and her talking about straw folding. then i felt so left out, but nvm i was msging xd noob. he wanted to play soccer when i came back, but in the end he said nvm, some other day. lol.

so about 9.30pm we left macs then send yewheng off to his friend's bbq pit. walk until so long also haven reach. zzz. then after walking for so long, finally reached. said byebye to him then we walked home. talked more than usual and was quite scary cos left very little ppl. T_T finally reached the katong park underpass after SO LONG. so tired la. -.- then took a pic tgt outside the underpass and we went down. damn scary la, but lucky the lights were bright. inside the underpass she took a pic. wth. zzz. then got one moth also. might be her ahma protecting her?? lols maybe.

finally reached katong park. played swing a while then i got giddy. so i stopped and she continued. after a while, walked home. sent her home then i also went home. bathed, used comp a while then slept. had damn a lot of fun today ((:

SUNDAY ( TODAY) :

went church. sianz. nothing much today. only that Joelle today very crap. tell me a lot of crap things. dunno what happen to her. she cheat and broke my heart means she loves me. CRAP RIGHT? -.- okok enough of blogging. hands tired. lol.

i wish i had made use of the free time i had during the holidays to spend more time with her. kinda regret it now that poly has start. sobx ):

Labels: ,

it's good u realised
i'll love u with all my heart <3


today suppose to be no school. supposed to fetch darling. then... when i was sleeping, sam called me. he told me he ponned school today and ask me whether wanna go out nots. so i said yes then met him at kallang macs. chat a while then eat breakfast then after that we go paya lebar cos am wanted to buy some stuff. but in the end he didnt. lols.

so after paya lebar, we went to the nearby kfc and ate AGAIN. 3 hours breakfast we ate lunch. damn full can. somemore he dont want his drink then i help him to drink. -.- dont waste money ma. then after that go sheng shiong see fish and prawns. haha. so fun to look at fishes.

after that walk to school to collect o lvl cert and maybe see tinghui for a while. but sad la, tinghui got english test. so cant. so while waiting for sch to end after collecting the cert, i went to the schools's caretaker, uncle chngs's pond to use my hand to catch some of the small guppies. then so suay la, he caught me. but he only can see my back, he cant see what im trying to do. heng siah, if not very paiseh.

after that school end le, i saw someone i didnt expect to see; meiling. talk to her for awhile then i suddenly heard soccer ball sounds. haha! sure got ppl playing soccer at the soccer court. i go look see then saw sec 1's playing. was kinda bored so joined them lor. in the end, i scored 2 goals out of 4 goals for my team. haha. quite fun la, but they too noob le. fun means they make me laugh at the way they play soccer la. just like xd noob and hamster. soccer clowns. lol.

then my sis told me that jesselyn, meiling;s friend also saw me then she wanna see what i look like. omg diaos. nvm, i will go back to tk soon. i wanna see the ultimate xiaomeimei also.

after school we went beach road. to look for fishing equipments. cos me and sam wanted to try out a new method of fishing; luring. we go see then we saw really damn cheap and quite good rods. $20 for rod + reel leh. somemore both rod and reel quite good one leh.so we bought them then wanted to buy some lures also since we planning to lure at bedok reservoir some time soon.
we asked the shop guy forr some advise on lure fishing and he was really helpful la. he gave hell lot of good advise. 1 lure cost $12.50. we bought 2. if kena sangkot ah, heartpain siah. 12.50 down the drain. ): sad worx. T_T

so we went back to my house the river there talk a little bit on our next fishing trip and that sam ah, he really think too much, he got a lot of ' what ifs '.. reminds me of someone. (: then he wanna go home le, so follow him take cab then i go home le. then when i waiting for lift, i saw another ultimate xiaomeimei. JOELLE! lols. haha but she so far away. somemore my lift come le. so nvm. see her another day. but i almost cant tahan le la. miss her so much. ):

so after i bathe i went to play soccer with xd noob until 10pm. we trained header, fast passing and shooting. damn tired siah. actually i din wan to go but he very sad. cos he know he going to flunk his exams so he ask me to pei him play soccer. im supposed to msn with darling lor. ): then i msg-ed her she din reply. ): 3 times. i came home, msn-ed with her then she like sad sad like that. she sad = i sad. ): hais... its becos o fme. but i dont know what i did.. ):

she go cycling with her cousin then also never ask me ): im sad ):


EDIT ( 10.50pm ) : lol omg turns out that im the fault. i caused didi to fall down, caused her to cry for nth. i bluffed her say i moving into my school hostels on weekdays. then she sad siah, and i dont know why, cos i wanted to bluff her, but forgot to tell her i was joking. hais, sianz. im so idiot la. but anyway, its retribution for her april fool joke. wahaha.

Labels: ,

it's good u realised
i'll love u with all my heart <3


today was okay la. school started at 3. but we met at 2pm to go for lunch together as a class. our class not bad, the ppl all very friendly. esp the boys. all very likeable, no arrogant ppl, no bengs, no nerds. just nice.

lesson was boring la. fill in the blanks in the notes. diao. -.- it went on for one and a half hours. lameshit. after that met cheese then he paid me back my 50 dollars. went to buy some jeans and clothes then go home. sianed.

tmr meeting my class ppl for brea-fast again. haha. when i reached home, i discovered that one of my prawns was dead. ): sad worx. the tail kena eaten. lols. sad case siah. then at night i couldnt find my ic and ez link. i needed it to claim my tp matriculation card. it was all along in y bag la, but i just couldnt find it and i almost felt like crying.

then darling ask me to cry. she said its ok. after i cry then i will feel better. then i said i'll only cry if u dont want me anymore. then she said she wants to see me cry. ): but of cos can tell she's joking la. haha.

anyway, im just so disappointed in you la. what u think is best for yourself may not be true. u definitely can do it one, just that u lack the confidence and determination.

-imissyou

Labels: ,

it's good u realised
i'll love u with all my heart <3


boring day la today. went church then after that go makan. then on the way home, i kena stomachpain. pain until damn jialat. until i started sweating. go home shit all the things away. haha.
after that follow xd noob go old airport road cut hair. at the new salon. lols he damn funny lahs. keep giving me those cute faces. then after that played soccer at the field, which was a lil wet. so it was a lil slippery.

xd noob slipped a few tmes, then the malay dudes also. lucky i never. heng siah. after soccer my condition become worse. my left arm and left leg all no energy le. sian. then joelle never reply my msg, sure busy doing her f and n ba.

she came back and told me abt her problem at her cousin's house. keep saying herself useless and those sad stuffs. no la darling, u're not useless ok? then she say tmr dont wanna go sch, even though got mid yr english oral. but she changed her mind. ): cant have lunch with her. 23 days nvr see her le. ))): T_T sad worx. hais.

anyway schools's starting at 3pm tmr instead of the usual 9am. cos 1st week no lab lessons and tutorials. only first week dont have. haha shiok ah. can sleep late today. the more i type, the more imiss her. hais. time to end my post. nights.

Labels: ,

it's good u realised
i'll love u with all my heart <3

 TAGG